Femme VIP - 2009

Two years after divorcing, I’m still a single, Black female in search of true love in America.  Finding my soul mate has proven to be a bit of a challenge, as I’ve come to discover that the odds of connecting with a good man do not look promising.  I’ll let the numbers tell you why.  In America, Black women out number Black men by 1.8 million and if that wasn’t enough, only 54% qualify as a good catch for a professional woman like myself.  What’s going on with the other 46% you ask?  Well ladies, 21% lack a high school diploma, 17% are unemployed and the other 8% are incarcerated.  Yes, these numbers are staggering and can be a bit depressing, but one sister has refused to be swayed by the statistics.  Pepa Denton, from the 80’s rap group, Salt-n-Pepa, decided to take matters into her own hands.  On January 11, Denton’s new reality show, Let’s Talk About Pep, premiered on VH1.  I had the wonderful opportunity of interviewing Joel Randell, one of the talented men featured on Pepa’s new show.  A fellow journalist, speaking with Joel was like a breath of fresh air as he shared his insight on dating, relationships and women. 

So Joel, tell us about “Let’s Talk About Pep” and what can viewers expect when they tune in. 

The show, which stars Pepa Denton, is centered on her and her girlfriends in their search for true love.  But I must warn you, it’s not your average reality show.  “Let’s Talk About Pep,” has more of a Sex in the City feel.  Unlike the other dating shows currently on VH1, there are no contestants or challenges, just professional women sharing their ups and downs about being single and what it’s like to date. 

So who is your love interest on the show? 

I had the pleasure of dating Jacque Reid, a commentator on the D.L. Hughley Morning Show, which airs on New York’s 98.7, Kiss FM radio.  Jacque and I had actually met a year prior to the tapping of the show which made the entire dating process easier for both of us.  Jacque is classy and conservative, but don’t let that fool you about the show and the other ladies.  From celibate to sizzling, sexy hot they are an awesome combination! 

Joel, I want to call you a relationship expert because your career path keeps curving in that direction.  You’ve been featured in Essence Magazine twice, sharing your thoughts on relationships and now this.  Has anyone ever called you that before? 

No CJ, you’re the first.  But I think when you’ve lived for 39 years you are bound to have some experience in the area of dating.  I’m not saying I’ve dated a lot of women, but I’ve learned over the years what it takes to make a woman happy; romantic dinners, vacations, whatever…. If you don’t believe me just watch the show.

What advice would you give to the millions of single women who are in search of the perfect man?

Ladies, be realistic in your expectations and the standards that you set when it comes to men and relationships.  Fairy tales are just that…tales.  Stop living in a fantasy world about men and look at us for who we really are and what we are offering; give us a fair chance and stop being so hard.  Secondly, be patient.  The right guy and the perfect relationship for you aren’t going to happen over night.  While you’re waiting, take that time to get yourself together.  Figure out what you like about yourself and what it will take to make you happy in life, not just in a relationship. Lastly, realize that men are in a state of emergency when it comes to relationships too.  We are leery about getting involved with someone who thinks she knows what she wants, but really doesn’t have a clue.           

So what can the readers of FemmeVip expect from Joel Randell next?

I’m finishing up a memoir entitled Razor Horizon and I am considering going into public speaking; talking with youth around the country about choices and the importance of making good decisions. 

And I think you really need to consider adding relationship expert to your to do list as well, lol. 

You can follow Joel on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/joelrandell

CJ Domino is the author of the best selling novel, Sideline Ho and the newly released self-help book, Who Does She Think She Is? A Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving a Break Up Before She Has a Break Down.  Follow CJ on Twitter at www.twitter.com/cjdomino